Kenneth Tucker

...a hermit iconoclast


Socrates -- Test of Three

A useful calumny filter... January 11, 2018

One day Socrates came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?

Wait a moment, Socrates replied. Before you tell me, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three. Test of Three? That’s correct, Socrates continued. Before you talk to me about my student, let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?

No, the man replied, actually I just heard about it.

All right, said Socrates. So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?

No, to the contrary...

So, Socrates continued, you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true? The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, You may still pass though because there is a third test, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?

No, not really.

Well, concluded Socrates, if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all? The man was defeated and ashamed, and said no more.

Many are fascinated and impressed with what amounts to no more than the squandering of vast quantities of resources to irrationally deify and bury rich people. However, the valuable lesson of the ancient Egyptians was their mastery of the science and agriculture which ultimately afforded them their immortalized foolishness.

Similarly women are often appreciated for alluring femininity while the terrifyingly powerful abilities instinctually conferred by motherhood often go unappreciated.

Women's ability to multitask can gestate and raise multiple charges to maturity. Women's two way communication with speechless infants via body language is also hardwired. This later ability means it is extremely difficult to lie to your significant other because when one lies their body language does not match their words.

Yes, mothers do have eyes in the back of their heads which are facilitated by a far greater peripheral vision than men possess. Women can look straight ahead while checking a man out without any thoughts of ever getting caught. My inherit tunnel vision envies this. The success of these abilities is clearly evident in the viral spread of humanity over the entire planet.

Just body language skill and the ability to multitask rings around men has me wondering why most world leaders are not female. Men's mere physical strength advantage does not account for this anomaly and playing silly games with projectiles hardly seems a noteworthy evolutionary event to replace the pragmatic hunting game advantage conferred by tunnel vision.

Perhaps ruling by proxy is the far safer and wise choice. Perhaps women instinctually don't care to subjugate their more critical mission of continually spreading the human species over the earth and possibly even space. Whatever their reasons I am happy to be an old man who has gained some modicum of libido control.

Kenneth Tucker
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